|
Why PlayDates?
By
Michell Muldoon
I am from the generation when
toys were toys and play was a powerful, as well
as a deeply memorable and cherished time of my
life.
I was one of those kids who
would go outside for hours and only come into
the house for a glass of water before running
back out, to return to one of those unforgettable
adventures that only a pack of children and their
boundless imaginations can create. We had the
luxury of unstructured time and the freedom to
safely explore our own neighborhoods.
This was a special time and,
because most of our mothers were home during the
day, there were always roving parents whose presence
made us feel protected and helped to keep us reasonable
in the kinds of play that we created for ourselves.
We went from house to house,
played on skateboards, rode bikes taught each
other how to ride bikes, built forts, went sledding,
played Cowboys and Indians, made haunted houses,
spread "cuties" and had crushes on each
other. We also played jump rope, staged plays,
dressed up, made fairies out of spring flowers
and went for long walks, all without highly-focused
grownup supervision. Looking back, we might not
always have been safe, but we knew all of the
kids who lived and played in our communities and
neighborhoods and they knew us.
We also knew something else about ourselves and
each other; how to use available resources...
how to have a good time when you didn't have a
dime in your pocket and there were no Juicy Boxes
or snacks to help you make it between meals.
We created our own "Barbie
Worlds" and never kept the tags on our toys
( just in case they ever became "collectibles,"
a concept that never would have occured us back
then). They were just toys to us and we played
with them for the sheer joy of it!
We played Candy Store, sold
watered-down lemonade on the street corner, rode
"Go Carts" made out of anything we could
find and created "businesses" where
leaves took the place of money as the valued currency.
What drove these powerful moments in our lives
was a combination of the only elements that most
children seem to have an abundance of: free time,
lots of friends plus the imagination and the opportunity
to simply.... play. During those precious hours,
basic social structures were developed, laughter
was nearly always present and our childhoods were
rich with the possibility of adventure!
Even though I was part of
a big family, we really didn't play together as
siblings... we played with our friends. When you
factor in the friends of six kids, the number
of children around grows pretty fast!
Over the years, we grew into long lasting friendships
with our siblings' friends. Our histories go deep
and I can honestly say we are able to laugh whole
heartedly about our adventures and truly appreciate
the "richness" of those years.
As children, our play was
usually social, unstructured, unfocused and most
important, spontaneous! Kids today live in another
world. Their play, for the most part, is educational,
skill-building and monitored. While it is totally
different from our generation's playtime, it might
well result in tremendous benefits in the long
run. But the single most important benefit of
playing is that children absolutely need the interaction
and the exposure to other children, in order to
learn how to function in society.
Times
have changed.
For the past fifteen years
or so, play has changed greatly in our childrens'
lives. There are many reasons why this has happened:
for the first time in our history, there is a
wide range of professional opportunites available
to women and there is a definite need for a second
income, in order for most families to make it.
There has also been unbelievable
growth in technology. In order for children to
compete in their world, they must devote more
time to developing computer skills. With this
new demand on time, more products have been developed.
This also requires time to stay current with the
ever-changing assortment of entertainment and
educational offerings. If we add to that our constant
need to stay on top of our own professions, as
well as cultural changes, aging parents, social
obligations, and an increased tendency to live
farther and farther away from resources, the inescapable
result is that we tend to find ourselves running
all over the place. We are in the car, going shopping,
driving children to sports and activities and,
before you know it, not only is there no time
left, but no one is even around for them to play
with!
There is also the influence
of the very intimidating News Media whose survival
depends on Ratings and Ad sales. Powerful News
Directors and Journalists know that they can achieve
great results by bombarding our TV's , computers,
radios, newspapers and magazines with horrific
stories of kidnappings, child molestations and
other fear-driven stories. Certainly they are
providing an important service to our culture...
but there is also a residual fear that has had
a direct impact on societal behaviors. For Children,
especially, the way these changes have manifested
themselves in their everyday lives is in the loss
of the natural simplicity of play. We are all
stressed, but for children, they have lost something
basic to life, simple, unstructured playtime.
We are deeply aware of how
one unguarded moment could steal away a precious
life or cause serious life-altering accidents.
And even though the likelihood of something happening
is extremely small, as parents we are all in a
constant state of high alert.
Lastly, there is one other
factor which has contributed significantly to
the Playdate Phenomenom. The feeling of loss for
productive time that other generations lost to
"mindless play". Many adults I have
spoken with have felt that their most impressionable
early years were wasted. We now know that a childs
learning abilities are greatest during the early
years of their lives. The skill-building activities
that we expose them to now should help them to
develop a more well-rounded life. The result of
this generational regret however, is that parents
have put their children into so many activities
that alot of childrens lives are on overload.
Remember that when you put
your children into too many activities, there
is a strong likelihood that they may have very
little personal social time. So that while they
may be learning one kind of skill, they are losing
the time to learn another. That lost skill would
be to resolve their own conflicts and to learn
to negotiate and to deal with peers.
There is also the opposite problem, the child
who suffers from lack of direction and the exposure
to different kinds of activities. Both kinds of
play ( structured and unstructured) are important.
Striving for balance is almost always the right
choice. So, for the parents who overcompensate
for their own sense of missed childhood opportunities,
there can be tremendous value in allowing children
to develop their own expressions through a range
of play.
How
PlayDates Help Kids Play
Playdates have evolved as a way
to resolve the issue of overbooked lives, for
both parents and children. This is how most kids
play in todays world. We are all too busy to be
spontaneous. We have to put everything on calenders
and that includes play time.
In order for children to have these
opportunities, a parent must schedule this time.
That puts an extra burden of lost time for the
mother (usually it is the mother who arranges
the social lives of her children). Most mothers
are so stressed that they don't have much time
for the constant back and forth demands to make
a simple plan for play. Add to this the complications
of information gathering and the simple truth
of this reality is that it takes forever to arrange
a simple Playdate!
Fun PlayDates
is a way to literally fill in the space and make
the plan efficient and safe! Because this is such
a new problem, we have been trying to resolve
the issue with old-fashioned, out-dated social
formulas. What is needed here is gorilla tactics
for busy moms to insure that their children play
and enjoy their childhood years with lots of different
kinds of play. This also involves reciprical efforts
for everyone to be satisfied and doing what's
best for our children!
Heres
how Fun PlayDates works!
Fun PlayDates
offers a line of down-loadable products designed
to help save time and to get all of the information
both sets of parents need to share in order to
feel safe when we let our children play. Remember
that when we were kids, we usually played in our
neighborhoods. That meant that we knew the families
of the people we were playing with and they knew
us. Today we are having our children play elsewhere.
We need to know how to be intouch with our kids
should something happen. We need for the host
parents to be able to contact us should there
be any kind of emergency. We need to have the
host parent know if our children have any allergies
or health concerns. This is why Fun
PlayDates was developed.
WHAT
IS PLAY?
CHILDREN
are the foundation of the world's future.
CHILDREN have played at all times
throughout history and in all cultures.
PLAY, along with the basic needs
of nutrition, health, shelter and education,
is vital to develop the potential of all children.
PLAY is communication and expression,
combining thought and action;
it gives satisfaction and a feeling of achievement.
PLAY is instinctive, voluntary,
and spontaneous.
PLAY helps children develop physically,
mentally, emotionally and socially.
PLAY is a means of learning to
live, not a mere passing of time.
Reprinted
with permission from the American Association
for the Child's Right to Play Organization
|
