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What Dads Can Do with Their Kids
Over the Holiday Break
To strengthen and enrich
their relationship as fathers
by Michell Muldoon
As this wonderful season begins,
our schedules fill with Holiday commitments: school
concerts, special church services, office parties,
and family and neighborhood get-togethers. These
festive occasions are powerful; they are the celebrations
that become the cherished memories of our lives.
They fill us with gratitude and offer the great
opportunity to create the traditions that we want
to imprint on our children's hearts. During these
times, there is also an extraordinary amount of
stress and a very real loss of time.
If you stop to think about the limited
number of days in the Holiday Season, over the
course of children's primary education years (in
School from K to 12), we as parents - actually
have only approximately 12 weeks (134 days) to
spend with our children in this magical season!
This is extremely valuable time, and when you
consider the incredible demands placed on that
time, it might help you to make better choices
about how those precious days are spent.
Talk Show Host Steve Friedman, Infinity
Broadcasting's "Mr. Movie," invited
Dr. Rhonda Clements, Author, Educator and former
President (current Ex-Officio) of the International
Play Association-United States and Armin Brott,
Mr. Dad, Author and Syndicated Talk Show Host,
to have an informal discussion of how to maximize
this time as parents and most especially, fathers.
Mr. Friedman asked both Dr. Clements and Mr. Dad
to make recommendations on how this time could
be spent to share valuable personal time with
children for the purpose of enriching their relationship.
Mr. Dad's work is centered on the powerful role
fathers have in forming the character of their
children. During the discussion, Armin, Mr. Dad,
made a point about sharing a powerful moment with
his own father. When Armin was a young boy, his
father wanting to teach Armin a lesson about Charity
and choices, made a huge impression on his son
by taking an old shoe box and filling it with
charitable solicitations that were collected during
the Holiday season. "We then sat down together
and made a budget. We went through each envelope,
talked about the mission and need of the individual
Charity. Together, my father and I made decisions
about which charity we would contribute to, and
how much money we could allocate from our fund.
Now that activity is something I share with my
own children."
Mr. Movie, Steve Friedman made a
point that in his childhood, it was sharing the
Movie experience that cemented his relationship
with his Dad. Recalling a special memory with
his father, Phil Friedman, Steve spoke about the
simple activity of being with his dad on a cold
day in December when Steve was about 12 years
old. "I loved having that time with my Dad,"
he said, "sitting there, we just spent hours
together watching a movie on TV. I felt so special
to get that time alone with him."
Dr. Rhonda Clements noted that while
doing a class on The Importance of Play, several
of her graduate students, would also associate
their childhood experiences with their fathers
as watching movies together. She said, "These
are students who grew up in the eighties and they
were recalling "The Karate Kid," "The
Dukes of Hazzard" and several other films
and TV shows from that time period. “Movie
influences were the reference points of their
childhood experiences."
Armin Brott, relating his own shared
experience both as a child and as a father, agreed
that watching a film together was a powerful experience,
"It's a kind of shorthand a parent can share
with their children," Mr. Brott said, "Watching
a movie also provides the opportunity to have
a discussion about the message in a film. It provides
a forum to share a deeper meaning about the film
with your kids."
Several callers made passionate
contributions to the subject and made suggestions
of perennial favorites, such as "It's a Wonderful
Life" and the "Christmas Carol,"
as films to be shared for the Holiday. "These
films have the power to make memories and they
have significant messages," said Steve, "but
there are so many others: "White Christmas,"
"The Grinch," both the animated and
the more recent Jim Carey version, "The Muppets"
and "A Christmas Story," with it's funny
take on a kid from the 40's." One caller
pointed out that it isn't a real holiday season
without watching "Christmas In Connecticut,"
which was his family's tradition.
Dr. Clements pointed out that movies
are a great way for kids to connect with their
fathers. She suggested that "dads can also
be playful, go outside, build forts, play in the
snow or go on hikes. These days are fleeting and,
although watching films is great, kids also need
to be active. Take the discussion outside and
go for a walk." "Remember," noted
Armin Brott, "kids want to hang out with
us. Make it a priority. Let kids just play with
us."
As we near this bountiful season
of good intentions, good will and celebrations,
take time to connect with the people who are our
true gifts. Sharing time is more powerful than
any toy. Remember that, while children and childhood
are temporary, memories can last a lifetime. Make
a point to connect in a simple way and that will
be the tradition that touches the ages.
For Steve Friedman's Film Reviews,
check out our movie
pages
For Armin Brott Tips on Parenting as a Father,
visit: www.mrdad.com
To learn more about the good work of the International
Play Association, visit: www.ipaworld.org
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Steve Friedman,
Mr. Movie
 Armin
Brott, Mr. Dad
Dr. Rhonda
Clements, IPA
Michell Muldoon
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